Sunday, January 1, 2017

OUR GRAND ADVENTURE; Katherine of Michigan; 1929

Dear Farmer's Wife:

"My Boy" and I started out fourteen years ago, he, fresh from a bank job, and I, from the schoolroom. We knew almost nothing about farming, but felt as truly "called" as Abraham did in the days of old.

"They'll be back in town within two years," our friends prophesied. But we're still here.

After seven years of stock-share renting in the richest state in the cornbelt, we felt that we must launch out and try to buy, and to farm independently. But where? Farm land there was booming, and we felt unwilling to try to carry such a load of debt. Then the promise came to our minds:  "Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass." And this one, "All things are possible to him that believeth."

The past seven years have been one grand adventure. We were marvelously led to Michigan, and given opportunity to buy a splendid farm in an ideal location. Our children love the farm, although they attend town school. But best of all, we feel that here we have a real opportunity for self-expression and service.

We owe our incentive to "launch out" partly to the splendid example and encouragement of others. But most of all, our inspiration is of Divine origin. We take no credit to ourselves for our small measure of success. We still have far to go. But this we do know:  God will lead those who want to be led and "All things are possible to him that believeth."

More success to The Farmer's Wife.

DAUGHTER WISHES TO DANCE; 1906

Dear Editor:

My daughter of seventeen has learned to dance from her schoolmates and is making both herself and me very unhappy because I cannot feel it is right to permit her to attend dances. She has always been a good, obedient girl in everything else, but now says that if she "can't do as other nice girls she knows are allowed to do, she will leave home when she is eighteen and earn her own living and do as she pleases." I have prayed over this, and reasoned with her, but she will not give up, and says she will dance. I would be so glad if the editor or other mothers who have had the same experience would advise me what to do.--A Troubled Mother

Dear Troubled Mother:

The editor may not be the proper person to make any suggestions in this matter, as I must admit to sympathizing with all young people who wish to enjoy youthful pleasures while they may. Personally, if a young girl has been properly taught and is safe-guarded as she should be by her parents when she goes out, I can see no more harm in dancing than in skating, walking or riding with a young man.

To this day I very much enjoy watching a dance, and, so far as my observation has gone, at no other gathering is there so much real courtesy, and pleasing manners shown as at a dance. But I have never looked on at a public dance, neither would I allow my daughters to attend one.

Were parents in country neighborhoods as careful of their daughters as really well-bred people should be, there could be no possible harm in their dancing. But it is customary in most rural communities for young girls to go out evenings unaccompanied by any member of their families. Girls should be not allowed to go out with young men who are not personally known to their parents. And a girl so young as seventeen years should be accompanied to and from places of evening amusement by some member of her family. Attended thus there could be no harm in a girl's going to a dancing party, to which invitations were issued only to the young people in the neighborhood known to be of irreproachable character. And if a girl has received proper home training and teaching from her parents she will not want, in fact cannot be induced to attend a party of any other character. Such a dancing party is much more respectable and productive of less harm than many church sociables, which are "free-for-all," where anyone who pays the price is admitted and allowed to mingle with the young people in games that are often "kissing games," and highly improper.

Young people must have amusement and if parents exercise a little thought in providing them with pleasing recreations, properly conducted, with companions of known good character, all will be well. But, alas! too many parents seem to have forgotten the desires and pleasures of youth, and either seek to keep their children entirely at home, or leave them free to go where and with whosoever they will, to save themselves the trouble of getting ready to go out, or because it is customary in their neighborhood.

OUR HOME CLUB; January 1906

DAILY REST HOUR--

I was glad to see that my practice of taking a little time daily for rest was practically endorsed by at least one of the writers for The Farmer's Wife. Every day after the dinner work is done up I lie down for from a half an hour to an hour.

Sometimes I do not fall asleep, but generally I get a few moment's sleep, which is most refreshing and I get up really feeling like a new woman. In the summer time, when the days are long and we are up early, I often lie down awhile in the forenoon, and get rest that is needed to help me through the morning. Of course there is work for every moment of the day, but if I tried to work all day without rest I should soon be obliged to go to bed and leave all undone. By never missing my rest hour I keep well enough to manage my housekeeping with the children's help. While I am lying down they play quietly and are careful not to disturb me. Try my plan, some of you busy, overworked mothers of the Home Club and take a new lease of life and cheerfulness.

TO BASHFUL BILL--

Just "speak up like a man," and tell the young lady the state of your feelings toward her and your wish to make her your wife. From her acceptance of your attentions the past year, I think there is little doubt but that she may answer as you wish. Leave the details of the ring until afterwards, she will undoubtedly be glad to be consulted. There is no formula for proposing marriage, every man does it in his own way, and generally has no trouble in making himself understood. Sure of your success, we send hearty congratulations.

WOMEN AS MILKERS--

The idea seems to prevail extensively in the United States that milking is not proper work for a woman. We cannot but think that it is somewhat unfortunate. The girls growing up in the household ought to learn to milk. Such work is not beyond their strength, though they should not be required to carry pails of milk. By assisting in this exercise girls will be encouraged in habits of industry. Many of them seem to think it is undignified to engage in such work. Such a view is not well grounded. Labor that is right and proper is always ennobling and no one should be ashamed to perform it. Every girl, therefore, brought up on the farm should be as carefully instructed in the art of milking as she is in performing on a musical instrument.

There is another reason why women should take a share in the milking. Cows as a rule, will give more milk in a given time when the milk is drawn by women. This is owning to the more gentle way in which they go about their work. Men are oftentimes harsh and petulant when cows are refractory: women are more patient. Let no young girl on an American farm blush to acknowledge that she is able to milk a cow.


JUST US GIRLS--A BOY'S PERSPECTIVE; 1919; Marion Craig

Published in The Farmer's Wife magazine, Marion Craig's column, "Just Us Girls," was written to advise and encourage girls and young women. Considering that this was a "family-friendly" publication, I think that she handled the subject quite tactfully. 

Somehow I wish I need not talk about this subject. There are so many things in the world more inspiring and interesting and constructive and I had hoped that each of my girls had thought it out for herself and had come to the right conclusion in her own mind.



However, it keeps coming up and so I decided we would have it out and then we would put it away and not speak of it again--ever.

By this time, you will wonder what I am talking about. It is the old, old question of familiarities between girls and boys--where shall a self-respecting, fun-loving, truly nice girl draw the line? Some question, is it not?

Perhaps if I had not most unexpectedly been shown a boy's viewpoint, I should not have answered your questions here but as he told me this of himself I felt that perhaps fate had planned that I should pass his message on. He told me exactly how he and other boys feel toward certain types of girls and he told it so straight, that I am sure you will feel his sincerity.

First I want to explain that this boy is a typical boy--not a prude in any sense of the word, possibly cleaner minded than scores of other boys, but very human. I know, that as every normal boy should, he likes girls and seeks their company whenever he can.

"Of course boys are attracted by girls who will let them be familiar," he said. "Maybe they seek them out rather more than the other kind but deep down in their hearts, they do not respect them and they do not choose them for wives--at least not often."

"And why not?" I asked.

He hesitated. It was hard for him to explain.

"I think," he said finally, "it is because they do not trust such girls. They feel that girls who are not true to the principles their mothers taught them and people like you have impressed upon them and that they can learn in so many ways even if they have not had the right influences at home, are not to be trusted in other things. That's the way I feel anyway. A boy may take that kind of girl out for a picnic or a ride but as for marrying her--well that is different.

And there is the secret of the whole thing. A young man wants his wife, the mother of his children, to be "different" from "that kind of a girl."

Do you want to be the kind of girl whom a boy tolerates only in picnics or rides or other good times? Or would you like to think he might some day ask you to share his life, too?

More than once girls have written this to me: "Boys do not ask me to go with them because I do not let them do the things other girls allow."

My girls must be little missionaries to such boys! Do not preach to them; do not tell them familiarities are wrong or assume a moralizing air. They will hate that! Simply set them an example so fine and high and desirable that they will want to imitate you. Let what you do tell them what you are--and what they should be.

The next time a boy wants to put his arm about you or kiss you good night, say something like this to him:

"I do not do such things because I feel there should be a basis of true love for such actions. I do not love you nor do you love me. We are just friends. I do not want to cheapen real love, for some day the right man, I hope, will come into my life and I do not wish to cheat him--or myself."

No truly fine girl will marry a boy who is careless in these ways.