Monday, July 12, 2010

THE DIARY OF A DISTRACTED MOTHER; by Sally Sod Herself; part 5; 1927

THURSDAY. Well, Mary Anne, I surely opened my mouth and put my foot in it today. I can't help thinking how my brother used to say there Was no connection whatever between my tongue and my brain, that my tongue was fastened in the middle and wagged at both ends. Now I believe every word of it.

I wanted to go away this afternoon but my good man looked dubiously at the tire.

"It'll blow out before you can make a very long drive," he said. "You better wait another day. I'm going away with the truck and haven't time to change it."

After he was gone I went out and looked at the tire. It didn't look bad to me so I got ready and went anyway. Got all the way there and within a mile and a half of home when Bang--Chester surely knows tires. I drew up to the side of the road and began to debate with myself.

"Try to change it alone? Walk home and leave my four little ones in the car on a cement road? Wait for some one to come to help?

I didn't know what to do. A car drove up behind ours and stopped. I got out my very best smile and smiled it right in the face of my own husband. Yes, it was the very man I married. But worst of all...

"O, is it you?" I said. "I was just wishing some good-looking man would drive up and help me."

Now that was all wrong. He wirelessed me one look more eloquent than words.

"Pile yourselves into the truck," he answered, "and see if you can get home on these four tire. I have LOTS of time now. Only 5:30, all the chores to do, ten cows to milk, supper to eat and get to the milk meeting at 8:00 sharp.

FRIDAY. "Seeing as how" this was the day for the debate, I made up my mind I would go to see how my boy could perform. I took the car and drove to school. Got there a little early and had a chance to look around. I found it was the same old thing in the same old way. A large assembly room, one teacher in charge, paper wads, whispers, smiles, frowns, and snickers--but you remember how it was.

Then came the pep meeting. I had an awful time trying to keep myself under control. Songs--yells--songs--and then some--until I just wanted to yell myself. But, no, I mustn't forget my resolution. Pat me on the back, will you? I kept still. But when they gave that old time ONE-A-ZIP, A TWO-A-ZIP, A-THREE-A-ZIP-A-ZAM I just wanted to shriek.

A few words by the superintendent, the speakers were introduced and the debate was on. It was very interesting, of course. But at last the third speaker on the negative side was called--There stood Elery. He stood so long--Eternity it seemed. Would he never speak? Had he forgotten? Then: "Mr. Chairman, Ladies and Gentlemen"...He gave me one quick glance and I looked down. I didn't want him to be excited on my account. So I decided not to look but to listen. My eyes burned. My throat was dry. With my whole body, mind and soul I said, "Please, Lord, don't let him forget a single word."

I wonder when I looked again. Once more he looked me in the eyes and I heard, "I thank you." What--Done so soon?

Next came the rebuttal. When Elery spoke again, I was calmed down so I could enjoy it. But, O, those few minutes of suspense before the judges handed in their decision. Then the chairman said:

"The decision is three to nothing in favor of (cough, cough, cough) three to one in favor of--the negative side.

Was that a Pep meeting before? Then what was this? Every one yelling, laughing, slapping each other on the back. The teachers couldn't keep order and didn't try.

It was over. I was only too glad to slip out the back way and home.

THE END.

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